Almost Spring

In the almost spring, our days get busier, our energy changes and we begin to slowly crack open our winter shells, where we incubated ideas, passions, simple joys; where we dared to dream. We begin to peek outside, to exercise our extroversion. The bikes come out, walks happen more often. Imaginings take form, as pencil is put to paper, constantly. We cheer on the garden as it too, stretches out of its winter bonds. We're waking up; dreams are shaped into reality, in this almost spring.

Fifteen Years :: How The Time Has Flown

Ten years ago, Alex and I had just pulled off a pretty fabulous, handmade Harry Potter birthday for our five year old daughter, in the midst of packing and readying our new home for our move. Forgive me for stating the cliche, but where has the time gone?



Olivia just had her fifteenth birthday and I started the day by giving her a big hug and wishing her a happy day, and proceeded to burst into tears. I only did it that once, though, so I'm going to call that a success. Turning fifteen brings about many changes and I can't help but think back on my fifteenth year, and remember all the growing, the painful separations and challenges of that year. Maybe that's why the tears threaten to flow; I know Olivia is spared much of that heartache and that she will have the support, guidance, a home and a loving family to celebrate with her, the exciting things coming her way this year.

One interesting development occurred on the weekend, when her grandparents were visiting. After dinner, they gave Olivia a long, giant box to open.







That's right, my in-laws gave their granddaughter a shotgun. Why, you might wonder, does a young woman who was raised a vegetarian until about age ten, who still doesn't eat much meat, who cherishes the animals she shares her life with, who has attended numerous peace and anti-war rallies since a small child, who lives in an urban area, why does she want or need a shotgun, of all things? Well, in her own words, it's a skill I want to have, just like I want to know how to build fires. Olivia has homesteading aspirations, as well, and the realities of rural farm life, is that sometimes a shotgun is a useful tool to know how to use. Further, Olivia has a strong sense of personal responsibility, a practical mind and she simply desires knowledge for knowledge sake. (And yes, she will be enrolling in a firearm safety course.) If you had asked Alex or I years ago, would such a gift have sat well with us, we probably would have said no, and it doesn't mean this is a choice everyone has to be comfortable with or accept, of course. However, if we mean to honor and trust Olivia and her choices, we will and do accept it, and are ready to get comfortable with this new pursuit. I am also amazed and grateful that Olivia has grandparents who also honor, respect and support her choices, for that is a very rare and special gift all its own.




Birthdays around here are family days. We like to have a leisurely morning, sitting to a full breakfast at a pretty table and then relish the unwrapping of gifts and later, the cake cutting. This year was unique, as it was warm enough to have windows open, rare for a March 13 birthday in Maine. And daffodils. We always have to have lots, as they are Olivia's birth flower.



Adam had the giggles as he carefully placed his gift in front of Olivia, trying to keep the contents a secret.




Later, the assembling would happen. No one is too old for Legos, especially Star Wars Legos.



After opening some housewares she had been coveting for some time, as well as a sewing machine and backpack (not to mention that certain shotgun from her grandparents), it might have looked like we were ready to pack Olivia off to start her own household. That's still some years from now, we assured her.






The cake came next. Olivia had thought about making her cake this year, like last, but her days ran into each other and the night before her birthday, I panicked and baked her a white cake filled with lemon and coconut. On her day, I iced it in white mountain cream frosting (light and marshmallow-like) and coated the cake in more coconut.






She was happy and the cake came out really well. Big sigh of relief-damn cakes can be tricky.

Following cake, Alex helped Olivia get acquainted with her new machine.



Olivia is looking forward to doing more sewing, especially since she's planning a clothes-alteration day with a friend, soon. And of course, the discussions and sketching has ramped up to full spring-fever pitch for projects and possible room rearrangement ideas. Having tools that foster creativity at our fingertips has that effect on us, I suppose. I think she had a fun 15th and she begins her Driver's Ed classes this week, which is definitely exciting. I know you have so many wishes for yourself, at least as many as we have for you, and I hope many of them come true. Happy Birthday, our darling girl!

One March Morning

Like last year, in the second week of March, I was able to sit in the sunshine and have my morning coffee on our deck. And like last year, I had thoughts of my daughter's impending birthday, her fifteenth, bouncing around in my head. She begins her Driver's Education classes the day after her birthday, a truth that promises so much change, worry, excitement and celebration. As I sipped my coffee, I chatted with Alex about his work and about our final list for our Fedco order (yes, darling, we can always find room for more trees, surely, I say.) Then, I reminded Alex that today is the tenth anniversary of the closing on our home. Ten years, we've worked on this home, have lived here, loving it, mostly, and we have felt our home loving us back. We still recall that little thrill of excitement, our having fallen in love at first sight, as we both walked, hand in hand, into what would become our living room. Our house is old, it's sometimes a little shabby around the edges and it requires constant work and imagination, but it's so very much loved and cherished by us. When March's brilliance shines through our many windows and the light is with us longer each day, and the garden slowly warms and windows can be opened to let the ocean breeze in, we are reminded of why we fell in love with our home.

So I sat, and pondered the last ten years (was I truly not quite 31 when we moved here?), at the projects we completed, at the changes those years brought. I think of the memories this house contains and pieces of us it has sheltered. I sat and anticipated the work we'll soon be doing in the garden, the slightly, delicious mania of spring, urging us on, the back-to-back spring birthdays we'll celebrate, and I am nothing but grateful for it all.

Simple Bread Pudding

Source: chzhistoriclols.files.wordpress.com via Amy on Pinterest

I admit it, I tend to get impatient with recipes that seem to have an endless list of ingredients or steps. If I read through a recipe and my eyes glaze over, I will close the book and go find something else to do instead of baking or cooking. Unfortunately, this means there's a great deal of good foods out there, that I simply refuse to bother with. I used to think I was merely impatient, but as I've spent more time in the kitchen, I've learned that sometimes, really, recipes are needlessly complicated.

Bread pudding is one of those recipes that, in most cases, I simultaneously long for and resist making, because by the time I get to the part of the instructions that involve turning the stove down or putting pans of water in the oven, I'm restless and I end up with lemon bars or looking at pretty rooms on Pinterest instead. I know. And I missed bread pudding. It was a dish my mom used to make frequently and it was always delicious and always comforting. (Yes, comfort food. Food is part of human culture, it nourishes our bodies while also nourishing our very spirits. Too often this need goes unfulfilled or downright vilified in society's quest to eat healthy, while ignoring the whole health of a person, including emotional health.)

One day this winter, however, I happened to read the entire bread pudding recipe in my Fanny Farmer cookbook, and not one pan of water in the oven was listed! And since I had a large batch of just baked homemade bread ready, it all went together very easily. I ended up modifying this recipe, to simplify it further. I made it a bit more custard-like by adding an extra egg. I also added extra cinnamon and some ginger and nutmeg for a rich flavor. This would also be excellent with a variety of dried fruit, or plain or made savory with onion, cheese or a mix of vegetables, (omit the sugar, vanilla and cinnamon in that case.)



Simple Bread Pudding

1 loaf of white or brown bread, can be stale, the thicker the better
1-2 sticks of butter and some for the baking dish
1 quart whole milk
4 eggs
1/2 cup evaporated cane juice or sugar
1 cup raisins
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp ginger

Set oven to 325F.

Butter a 2-quart baking dish.

Rip thick bread into large pieces and place on bottom of the baking dish. Do not leave spaces between pieces of bread.



Cut butter into pats and place butter on bread layer.



In separate bowl, lightly beat the eggs, then add the milk, sugar, spices and raisins and mix together. (Adjust accordingly for a savory recipe during this step.)




Pour milk and egg mixture over the bread and butter layers and submerge completely, pressing down as needed.



Add more pieces of bread and more pats of butter and finish with a layer of bread. (I had about 2-3 layers.) Press to submerge all bread into milk and egg mixture. Cover and let stand ten minutes.



After ten minutes, add more pats of butter and sprinkle the top with some sugar and cinnamon.



Bake uncovered for 30 minutes, then cover and bake for an additional 30 minutes. Serve hot.





This bread pudding simply put, hit the spot. I made my first batch on one of those days that felt like socks feel when the seam is on the wrong side. The sweetness of the raisins, the aroma of the spices and bread baking, the nourishing richness of bread, milk and eggs in one dish, the steam coming off the bowl--all of it provided comfort. It reminded me of my mother's kitchen and it healed hurts and straightened seams for my family. We ate bowls of comfort and our spirits were nourished by this simple bread pudding. I hope it also brings comfort to your table.

Notes From The Laundry On Consensual Living

I didn't do any laundry last week. Before you worry, laundry got done, but not by me. We don't have assigned chores in our home (we prefer to embrace certain principles) though there are household tasks that typically default to a particular person. For instance, I am very picky about the cleanliness of our tedious jetted tub, so I usually am the one who scrubs it. The kids prefer to do the deep cleaning (or any cleaning) of their rooms, so they dust and mop their rooms. Alex ends up with things like, oh, installing vapor barrier in our Salem's Lot basement. And laundry usually falls to me and Alex, (and I actually enjoy doing laundry, yes really.)

I spotted this note, taped to the wall above the laundry soap shelf a couple of days ago. It's not my note, but my daughter's. While this may seem insignificant, it's important in several ways. Olivia, 14, wasn't asked to do laundry, nor was it listed on a chart. There was no gold star, item or cash reward she could earn by doing laundry. More importantly, our love and support of her was not contingent upon her completion of this particular household task. In light of recent appalling parenting practices that made headlines last week (and one which I will not link to), I think this is a very important distinction to make.

So why would a fourteen year old take on the week's laundry, without being cajoled, coerced or bribed into doing so? The answer is simple: she wanted to, in her words, "better know the science of laundry". (Both the kids know the basics of doing laundry, but not as regular, artful practice.) In other words, she wanted to learn a new task, and she wanted to contribute to her home. Yes, her home. This home is not a space that Alex and I are letting our children occupy on borrowed time. This home belongs to all of us. Olivia wanted to learn something for the simple joy of acquiring skill and knowledge and competency. After many loads, making notes to herself and practicing meaningful work, she contributed to the care and keeping of our home. And it all happened without any negative behavior from parent or child.

This is consensual living, and unschooling in practice. Olivia, self-motivated and self-directed, took on a task that was both unassigned and non-compulsory. By doing so, she gained skill and competency and confidence in a necessary household task. As well, she benefited and contributed to the function, well-being and health of her home. How good it is to know that our children feel like equal members of our household, that they can contribute and benefit us all, without feeling forced to do it.

A Midwinter Pause For Pink Hearts And Cheesecake

Valentine's Day is not a grand, elaborate venture in our home, but there's a rhythm, regardless, that we've developed over the years. We usually spend a few days getting the home tidied and I bake a cake (this year I made a New York-style cheesecake with a shortbread crust). Alex is at home and makes us a brunch, and we exchange cards, sometimes homemade, sometimes not, and we have something sweet for the kids, too. And we always have flowers of some sort on the table. We talk about how a month from now will be Olivia's birthday (her fifteenth!), followed by Easter on the vernal equinox. We have known since Imbolc (Feb 2), that spring is stirring, beneath the soil, on tree tips with fattening buds, and soon, the sap will be flowing.







Valentine's Day this year, felt like a pause, full of pretty pink things and sweetness, during what has a been a somewhat worrying and anxious winter. Sometimes life is like that. Sometimes there's stuff and sometimes it's not even our stuff, but it's stuff that pokes holes in our days, that drains us of energy, nonetheless. As for my absence from this space, know that I simply needed to devote time and thought to well, other stuff, for a bit.

As I look to getting back into the blogging swing as winter enters its final weeks, I'll start by sharing a bit of our Valentine's Day with you. And Dear Reader, thank you for understanding.

January Days

Following the constant activity of autumn and the holidays, January is a treasured time for renewal, nesting and nurturing and dreaming. We hunker down into warmth and engrossing books, seek inspiration in gardening and home books or photography on places like Pinterest and ease back into routines.

So far this month, we've been assisting Alex's parents with some decisions on their home after a break-in (on Boxing Day) left some kitchen pipes exposed to the cold, which led to flooding in their downstairs. The mess and headache they have been dealing with is stressful, and we're helping however we can. Although, we have been getting a few more visits in, so that's been positive. Adam recently spent the good part of a day in the garage with Papa, rebuilding a bulkhead.




During these visits, we've been discussing the homestead a great deal and Alex and I have been doing some research on the land and Bradstreet history as a result. As a family, we decided to blog our research and thoughts, and one day we may share that work with you. For now it's a private pursuit, and one that is requiring a good deal of time, so if you wonder where I've been, now you know. In my research, I did stumble on this photo of the homestead. I'm not certain what the date is (if that's a date written along the bottom at all). It looks like 1820 to me, but as my brother-in-law reminded me, that wouldn't be possible, photographically (and the house wasn't built until 1864). More research!



With time to reflect and partake in the comforts of home, we've found ourselves enjoying ever more, the guinea pigs. Beatrice and Annabelle each have distinct personalities (Beatrice loves Alex and happily accepts a long cuddle and pat on his lap and Annablle snuggles into Adam's neck, and according to Olivia, uses her teeth like a multi-tool). When we put them in their exercise pen each day, they love being near the fire (don't worry, we make sure they don't overheat), chattering to Max the cat, and eating three salads a day. Frozen Maine wild blueberries continue to be their favorite treat. They are sweet, funny and very easy to love.






And yesterday, we finally got a real winter snowfall.





January is a good month for pausing, catching our breath and allowing days to simply unfold. While the snow comes and the cold settles in, we'll renew our energies, passions and dream good dreams.